Ever wonder why you always feel constantly overwhelmed? It’s like no matter how much we achieve in one day, it still doesn’t feel like enough. We optimize our 5-to-9 before our 9-to-5, and yet, no matter how hard we try, it feels impossible. Worse yet, we start to feel fake. Have you seen those productivity TikToks or reels online? They leave a sour taste in my mouth.

It’s because it feels fake… all of it. No one has their shit together. And if they do, I’m willing to bet they’re a psychopath. Since when was spending a quiet morning before work reading the newspaper and drinking coffee considered bad? Why can’t we just eat dinner and read a book after work without feeling like we’re “wasting time”?

I know everyone says comparing ourselves to others online isn’t good for our mental health, but why does it feel like I’m trapped in this endless void—caught between how to improve myself according to what I see online and people in my life telling me to just “shift my perspective” or listen to another podcast for some quick fix? It all feels like empty solutions to a widespread problem.

The pressure is too much, and everything is just too convenient. It feels suffocating. Since when did calling a friend for a few hours become something we do while going to the gym? Or borrowing sugar from a neighbor feel ridiculous when Amazon is a click away? Or answering a simple question without needing to google it? I can’t help but feel that convenience has stolen my ability to sit back, learn, and enjoy the curiosity life has to offer.

I can’t even write this without using ChatGPT to clarify my thoughts because, “Why would I do it myself if something else can do it for me?”

I guess this is me, being raw and honest about my own faults. I’ve fallen victim to convenience, and if I can’t learn to enjoy slowing down, I can’t imagine the future being any easier. If you made it here, I hope you can relate in some way, whoever you are.

-Sophia